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Thursday, May 21, 2015

Takara Tomy Transformers Go Gekisoumaru Review

Takara Tomy Transformers Go Gekisoumaru Review
Bet you can't say that 6 times fast!!

 I admit I have a problem. I like lion Transformers.


From the over sized arms of Cybertron Prime to the pirates of the Cybertronian seas of Transformers Prime, I have bought any lion Transformer mold I saw. Repaint after repaint, it is a wallet-killing sickness. When I saw the listing of the Transformers Go Blue Ranger Lion I knew "He WOULD be MInEah" . Credit card in hand I went to the online retailer of choice to order him and STOPPED once I saw that freaking $60 price tag. What the hell!! $60 freaking dollars. So instead I decided to watch the show. Well tried to watch the show. And tried once more. I just couldn't do it folks. The show is that bad. Bad Bad? Yeah so Bad you would rather watch that Crapstacular show "37 kids and Counting my Food Stamps!" So Yeah....

Transformers Go is a Japanese exclusive show, that I hope will never be brought to the states. It is a mix of repainted Beast Hunters and new uhh combiner molds. They seem to be more closely related to the energon Superlink guys, except with 3 robots instead of 2. I would compare them to the RID Train combiner but that would be putting that awesome Combiner down. Throw in some annoying oriental kids that are looking for some CDs and you have the show in a nutshell.  I don't know the kids' names as they were just too annoying to watch. I'm thinking Rad, Carlos, and Bob, but hey! New toys with new molds!  Yippee!!  On to my watch list Geki went. Months passed by and the notices started to arrive. Lower Price $50.99, $45.99, $40.99 & free shipping. Then Finally $22.99 with 2 day Free shipping. Cha Ching buy it time. 5 days later he arrived, so lets check him out.

Animal Mode
 "Voltron WHO?!?"


Geki (cause I am not going to spell out his long ass name) is a blue, yellow, orange, and gold uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Lion? The dog from that gargoyle cartoon? A big headed beast with a funky body? Some Chinese designer's who has never been NEAR a zoo idea of a lion when he was high? I have no freaking Idea here.

Kitty want some funcie feast?!?

It does look freaky unique though, like the bad monster on the Sci Fi movie "Attack of the Killer Chinchillas 3 Barry Obama befriends them!!". Geki has an over sized head and a weirdly thin body. Someone should really feed him.  The beast's front legs are on a ball joint so it can attempt to do a prowling pose but unfortunately its big head's lower mane hits the damn ground when you do it. His hind legs are on a swivel joint so a pouncing stance can be attempted, but again, his big head is too dang heavy and he comes crashing right back down. This is not helped by his stationary sword/tail that's way too long.  Size did matter on this one folks.  It really did, but hey, it does have a roaring sound and glowing eyes so uhhhh win? yeah.....

Damn it I am not the Voltron Blue Lion for the 100th time!!




ROBOT Mode




"Transform," it shouts as you, well, transform it.  I guess in case you forgot what you were doing?  The large beast head becomes this robot's body and it works aesthetically, but that's about it.  Like that hot but dumb girl/guy you dated or date, this action figure is lacking everywhere else. The large ball joints in the robot's elbows keep the arms in a 45 degree angle.  Add in the open hands and he looks like he is grabbing for a glass of water or green Kool-Aid.  The legs have these huge out-of-place cannon looking things that used to be the hind legs of the lion. Then there are joints on the legs.  Geki has 3 of them, which would be cool, but you can't bend the figure's leg at the knee without moving the rest of the joints on his very large stripper's l

 This is how I fool surveillance cameras that record height!

Something every Powerlink uh I mean Go figure has an issue with, but hey, at least the large Gorrira head covers most of the legs. Too bad there is no way to lock these long, shimmering, sexy, succulent, and appealing...whoa!  KiKi! Get out of my head! I already paid for your College education at Devry!!  Sorry, folks, flashback. Where was I?  Oh, yeah; no way to lock these long legs in place which would have helped. Then there is the swiveled head. The small tiny head that looks way tooo tiny for that huge melon head body. You can really tell they put minutes of thought into this figure. Like maybe even 4 minutes?

Attack Pelican Sword of DEATH!!




Now the swords are Really Super Duper Awesomely Cool to look at. They even combine to look like a giant dodo bird's head and neck. How awesome is that!!! Ok, how did the Davestator say to add in that sarcasm thing on Fb again? Oh yeah "I am being Sarcastic in that last statement" It is a dopey funky looking combined Super Dodo Sword of Death. But hey try to take that bird picture out of your head when you see the combined sword now!! Betcha can't do it. Kaw Kaw !!

Chief not approve!
Make chief want to hunt ugly canary with paleface cannon


Keep crossing Kids!!



OVERALL

 Okay,  what did my Momma said if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Really, you are still here?...............................................................
...............................................................................................................................................................................This figure bites. It really does. It is lacking in so many places it's not even funny. Someone should take away the drugs the designer used to design these horrid monstrosities. Their Momma should slap them. Look at them in shame and say
"あなたはこのがらくたであなたの家族を侮辱します!". *
The only good things I can say is that it does talk and I got it really cheap (Which honestly should have been a sign!!). Sure I don't understand a dang thing it says other than "Transform" but hey it talks. Heck it could be talking smack about my momma for all I know. I'm just glad I didn't pay $60 for it. Easy pass on this Autobot Creature is the final verdict. Now to go see if I can find the black and grey version for Super cheap.......... Yes, Folks I have a problem.

How American Dark Convoy know we talking
 smack about his Okaasan??

*Translation:
Anata wa kono garakuta de anata no kazoku o bujoku shimasu! **



**What you don't speak Japanese Geez!! Hell neither do I. Google translate ACTIVATE change into English:
"You insult your family at this crap !"

"Take me out to the ballllll gaaaaaaame...."


 One shall open letters flawlessly,the other shall spread thy peanut butter with ease.  
You must chose wisely!


"I sent in 72 box tops of yummy Cyber-O's 
(part of this imbalanced breakfast) for THIS??"


"You can have it all, now you're dancing for your liiiife!"


Raise your hand if you're Certain!


*Insert Michael Jackson music here*


Why you imitate Chief's battle stance?  
Many paleface get scalped for that!

I am coming for YOU, little evasive red dot!



Kaw Kaw

To the crossing guard, student safety is of the utmost importance.