Friday, May 1, 2015

Fans Project Cubrar and Tekour not Transformers generation 1 Dinobot Slag review

  As transformers fans, we all have those certain characters that we love and become a "MUST HAVE" no matter how crappily awesome they are. For me they are Huffer, Optimus Primal, Hound, Slag, and Thundercracker. So whenever a new toy released of them, I try my hardest to snatch them up. Be it knocking over an old lady to get to the toy isle at Walmart or taking the figure away from a kid at Kmart that figure will be mine. When I saw a picture of Fans Toy's version of dinobot Slag named Scoria I was pretty excited.

YAY!! Slag!!

 So after I changed my shorts. I saw the price and took a double take as reality came crashing down on my hopes and dreams!! No!!! Why does it cost the same as a good Ford Festiva or a mint condition Yugo???!!!!

Does that say $200?!? 
A Pinto with spinners is cheaper!!

 There was no way in Hades I could afford to pay that much all at once, especially since the plasma place put a ban on me when I went in those 8 times in a row that 1 week to get the cash for that MP-10 reissue! And my stock of dvd rewinders are just sitting there dammit. I guess no one rewinds their dvds anymore? So on to saving the cash I went. Like all great stories the plot only thickened when the 3rd Party GODS decided to SELL us MORE!! Dinobots started popping out of every 3rd party manufacturer's orifices like they were pimples on a horny teenager going through puberty. 57,000 Dinobots were all coming out at the same time!! 57 FREAKING THOUSAND! Then I saw HIM on the corner of some online retailers webpage! Fans Project's Cubrar !! And AGAIN I rejoiced like a little fat girl getting her first Eazy Bake oven to make her own dang snack cakes.....

Look its the 1257th Slag!!

 So my Scoria fund took a hit to the gut and took a dive ,like Manny Pacquiao will on Saturday, to buy Cubrar. Moltar of course got mad and screamed profanities at me but hey what the heck. I didn't feel so bad about doing so after I heard of all the issues the first run of Scoria had to be honest. Limp arm anyone? Hey it happens to every guy. Probably best to get a fixed 2nd run release anyhow. So here we go folks lets check out Cubrar and see if it was money well spent.

Beast Mode

"This ain't your Daddy's dinobot.  Seriously!  That cheap bastitch needs to buy his own and quit trying to steal mine!!!"

 Cubrar is a grey Triceratops with gold, red, and silver metallic highlights which really pop on this mold. This dinobot looks way better than Hasbro's Age of Extinction failed attempt for sure. This figure also seems to have more heft to him unlike the first release of this line Columpio. It only weighed 2 1/2 ounces more a small weight difference that gave it some oomph . See guys weight does matter!! Now it does have some changes that differentiate it from it's Autobot predecessor. First off Cubrar's head frill is not a complete frill. The empty space looks odd and gives the figure an incomplete feel. Something they could have covered with his targetmaster companion in some way if they had tried. Or should I call the guy a Weapon Master since he does change into an ax.

The fin was made this way for the robot's transformation so it is understandable. But couldn't they make a full fin split in half as well? A nice added feature is the flame thrower in Slag's mouth to match the Transformer's cartoon portrayal of the character.

"You SURE you want me to give you a light?"

“You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: 
Those with flame throwers, and those who burn. You burn.”

 Cubrar's tail has ball joints which enable it to swing from left to right.  One issue my figure seems to have is that in dino mode the back hips won't close properly, and as I would gather; all copies seem to have this issue due to a design flaw in the mold itself.  I suppose a dinosaur with a butt crack might be amusing, though, right?  FansProject was aware of the issue as they included a black and white addendum to the instructions to explain how to push the legs back to get that area to close. Unfortunately I couldn't understand it, so the hips stayed apart on my figure.  This seems to have been an issue with their previous release Columpio as well.  But hey, dinosaurs had butt cracks. Right?! How else would they fart? Right?

Heck when in doubt blame Obama

Yes Barry. Yes you did...

I did eventually figure out how to close the toys hips 2 weeks later with a combination of watching a video on Youtube, advice on facebook, and following the black and white paper included with the toy. Not 1 thing worked by itself mind you but a combination of all the 3 things got it to fit. I still can't explain how they worked per say, but hey it worked. Which will all go out the window when I transform him back to robot mode for this review. As for articulation this dino can actually move all over the place. It's head can move from side to side, up and down E t cetera Etc. It's beast legs are on ball joints so it can look like it's walking or running or stomping on Megatrons' head. Very freaking cool if you ask me. You can tell they really put the effort to make this a dinosaur that can actually move and not just a statue. Good Job 3rd world sweat shop workers!!

You Put your right foot in and you shake it all about!

Robot Mode

“Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while 
you shouldn't have messed with? That’s me.”

 Cubrar's robot mode rocks like a free Ultimate Cheese Burger with BACON!!! He has a strong visual connection to G1 Slag body wise. But still different enough to be his own bot. Face wise though not so much. His mug reminds me more of Snarl than Slag for some reason. Play wise this guy has all the right parts. Ball jointed arms and hips, swivels on his arms upper thighs and hands. This is almost to be expected on a lot of these 3rd party figures to be honest. Now one thing that has become a bad standard lately on Fansproject's figures is having to bend some of the parts on the figure to get it transformed. Folks say it won't break but I still get worried when I have to bend the plastic back to transform a $100 plus non-action figure. Just saying....


Cubrar comes with 2 guns, a sword, and his ax Targetmaster/Weapons Master companion.

"Any one of you lilly livered, bow legged varmints
 care to slap leathers with ME?!?"

 I really like the 2 guns. they look bulky and tough. They look just like what a beefy character like Slag would carry. The red sorta translucent sword looks dangerous and bears the fear of the decepticon armada when it comes into the peripherals of any decepticon unlucky enough to toss it with this dinobot. Uhhh it lops heads off good....

No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. 
Why we fought, or why we died. 
All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! 

Heck even the ax mode of the Weapon master looks good. Unfortunately Once transformed into robot mode though ........
That which does not kill us makes us stronger

 The target master really starts to suffer. From the front he looks really good. But once turned
baby got....... uhhh stick

Time to Flamenco! Aribba!

Help me!!! There is a triceratops following me!!

What the hell is sticking out of your back robo dude? Oh wait it's something that's wrong with all your peoples.

So we have sticks off our backs like Quazidodo. 
Deal with it

Yes folks that is a power ranger staff sticking out of their backs. And no it can't be pushed down any further. I don't know who designed these guys but they bit the pooch on these. They just seem lazily unfinished. Is one more joint really that hard to add, Fans Project?  Really?  REALLY?!?


 Ok, I really wanted to give Cubrar aka Slag a great sparkling awesome review. I tried to find no faults in him BECAUSE he is SLAG damn it. The best dang Dinobot EVER!! But at last my integrity got the best of me and I must be honest. Cubrar has issues...... Enough issues that Fan's project added an addendum to the instructions to rectify said issues. Sure it was black and white.... and you couldn't understand what the heck they were trying to show you. But hey they tried right? Shouldn't that weak attempt be more important than actual product testing? Or maybe hiring someone who can translate instructions into English?  Hmmmmm.... And what's up with the whole stick thing with the Weapon's Masters. Did the designer of those guys actually think that those would be a good idea? I can imagine a decepticon grabbing those handles while the little dude frantically tries to run for his freaking life. Wait..... Challenge Accepted!!!
Please stare into the circle!!

------ Challenge Completed!!-----------

Run Bob!! Run.
I got this one Fred!! Get closer for I can kick your Decepticon Butt!

 So I have to ask are they testing us to see exactly how much crap we will be willing to accept? Is that it? It sure feels like it with Cubrar and Columpio. Fans Project used to be on the top of the 3rd party food chain but these clearly show they are falling. I can't honestly say I can recommend Cubrar at full price. Wait till they hit the clearance sales folks. Lets hope their next attempt at a Dinobot ,Swoop , will be better. Now let's all go watch the Draft. Hopefully the Panthers don't choose some no name Lb named after Shaquille O'neal !!

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what its all about!

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful
This Slags good Side!! "

“It’s a hell of a thing, killin’ a bot. 
You take away everything he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.”

This town ain't big enough for the both of us, stranger!  
Hell, it's barely big enough for me!

Hell. I make technicolor look good!

So does the sepia make us look less lame?

Who turned off all the lights?

Anyone want to buy a DVD Rewinder?!?

This Review is Finally Over!!