Transformers One Mans Obsession: December 2014

Oh, the holidays!! The time when people sell stuff to buy their loved ones stuff they should have bought weeks in advance. Up for review today is a figure that, when first seen, made me very giddy. I yelled onto the skies , "Finally!!" Heck, I even danced the jig, and everyone joined in and rejoiced.

We Got a Huffer!! We got a Huffer.... We Got a Huffer!!

The figure was Cubex's Huff, an updated unofficial masterpiece style Huffer!! Finally, a toy maker answered my constant posts of

" Why hasn't anyone made a Freaking Masterpiece Huffer !!??"

See, writing 12 million English emails to Chinese manufacturers works. The Decepticons had failed in their evil plot to rid the transformer world of the heroic majestic Huffer!! I waited a while to get him because this company was "new." Usually the first production run is chock full of issues on new company products. I waited and waited, but last week I could wait no more. A guy on Facebook offered one for sale at a lower price that had paint issues so I took the plunge.

First off, I want to say Huffer is my favorite Transformer EVER made, so take that into account while reading this review. Huff arrived in a sturdy orange and purple box. Nothing too fancy, but hey, it's cool. I collect Transformers, not boxes. As I pulled Huff out of his box, I noticed his weight right away. He is a very light action figure, weighing less than 4 ounces. 3.65 ounces, actually. The box and plastic tray he comes in weigh a combined total of 5 ounces. The light weight makes this figure feel very hollow and KOish overall. Was this a sign of things to come? Let's see if this robot gets any better from here.

VEHICLE MODE

This figure is visually spot on to his G1 Autobot predecessor. If anything, he is missing the M on his door from his Microman toy line roots and his chromed arms.

Nothing like an Original!!

This is fixable with a set of $15.00 stickers, $18 if you include shipping, from Reprolabels. Not sure I want to pay that much but hey, it's an option, right? Huff has see-through plastic windows. It was made in this manner so that you can see Spike driving, although truthfully, Spike just looks stupid in Huff's cab.

Uhhhh.. We are in the USA Dimbo!!

Upon further inspection, a few issues came up. The panel on the passenger's side of the cab has a gap that I later found out is quite an issue.

Is that why the rain keeps getting in?

Schtinkin tab never stays in place!!

The figure's legs that become the truck's hitch also fail to tab together properly. When I attempted my "roll out" test, the tires bowed outward. This is due to having no tab to lock the tires in place. The wheel problem caused the truck to pull left or right instead of going straight, so it only went a straight maybe a foot before ramming into the TV stand. Huff also comes with an option that allows you to connect MP-10's trailer onto his hitch, but the raised hitch just looks off and strange and unsafe.

Are you sure this is structurally sound Wheeljack?

Why did you move way back there for Wheeljack?

ROBOT MODE

OK here is where that open panel creates problems. Transforming Huff requires that you untab his hands from some hanging covers. Those covers are connected to a panel that has a small tab that connects to the side panel/doors of the truck. You can see it on the right here:

If only they were made of sterner stuff!!

Due to the opened gap, this doesn't hold the back panel properly and it pops right off. I later found out that the black panel near the middle of the vehicle must be pushed forward for the gap to lessen. The covers that hides this figure's hands are really thin and flimsy which feel like they will eventually crack.The front tires of this figure rotate into the cab section. Unfortunately, the clearance is not wide enough, so the tires scrape against the top of the figure's chest. Due to the cheaper plastic that is used this is a very scary transformation point.

Dang it Ratchet my tire is stuck yet AGAIN!!

Locking the figure's arms into place is odd. You have to move one piece up while holding another one down. After 3 attempts, I finally got it right.

As for the legs, my copy of this action figure has a pin that is protruding just enough that it scrapes against the inside of the figure's leg. The paint on the toy's thighs have also scraped off which I was told is an issue with this toy in general. I guess the manufacturer failed to seal these?

That's not a bad paint job!

That's BATTLE Damage Noob!!

I may just remove the paint from that area completely. On the lower legs there is a panel on the inside that opens up to hide the back wheels of the truck. These panels have a few issues as well. There is a tab on these panels that have a clearance issue and hit the tires. They must be slightly lifted to clear the tires which made me fear breakage. Once they are folded down they also fail to tab in correctly and tend to pop back out.

I told you stop eating in my CAB!!

Articulation wise this figure is really good. His head, that is crooked, mind you, swivels a full 360 degrees and a pin on his neck allows the figure to look up. The arms turn a full 360 degrees and an extra joint allows them to go out. The bot has a double jointed elbow that is hindered by the mold of the upper shoulders that stop it from being fully utilized. His hands open, close, and rotate, but when you do this it splits apart the lower arms.

I cracked me Arm!!

The figure turns at the waist and has hips that rotate a full circle in and out. The minibot also has an upper thigh swivel and knee joints. The knee joints are a bit back due to the transformation joint being a little difficult to set right. The engineer's feet also swivel in and out.

Look Ma! I'm Dancing... Break Dancing!!

WEAPONS AND SUCH....

Huffer comes with a few extras. A gun that is formed with the truck's hitch that slides into a silver gun/engine block piece.

Slide part A.2 into Part ZFXY-zer

The silver gun piece has a tendency to come apart at the seems. I may super glue that later, but hey, it looks cool.

Someone hand me the Super glue!!

Look at me Gun!! I said Look at it!!

Also included is a second face that can be exchanged with the current one. My copy has a piece of plastic flashing on top that I will eventually shave off with an Xacto blade. Huff comes complete with static hands that do not open. He is what you might call a Kung-Fu grip Autobot. I doubt I will ever use them.

"IIIIIIII ain't god no body! Nobody cares for me....!"

Wait what's that thing on the top of my head!!

Wheeljack!!

OVERALL

Okay, as a Huffer fan, I may have been expecting too much, but this figure has made me sad.

Yes, even men cry

Heck even Tobey Cried and cried and cried and cried....

Heck the cost of him made me cry. Yes, it's that bad. The flashy plastic pieces among the other flaws and issues make this figure very irksome. I've had to shave plastic connector pieces from this figure like you would on a build-up model. I can deal with the paint issues. I was made aware of them. But....this is a $75.00 figure ,$85 if you takes shipping in mind, that shouldn't have so many dang issues. Is there no Q.C. done on these? What makes it even worse is the fact that I saw several reviews of this figure where the reviewer stated this thing was the bee's knees or the best thing since sliced bread. How can my lone figure be the only one with so many issues while theirs are "perfect"? I know, I expect a lot for my money, but am I really the only one who has that expectation? I really hope not. Okay, can I recommend it? No, not at $75.00. Heck, I got mine for $65.00 shipped and even then I feel like I paid too much after playing with it. I am truly disappointed with this figure. A figure I really wanted to love. Heck, even Oprah Winfrey is disappointed with it!

Yes, it's that bad.

Shoot that Decepticreep

What the heck another Crack!!

You step on the weirdest things on this planet.

I swear you eat in my cab again and I will shoot you!

Don't Cry Little one I'm sure he's not as bad as he seems!!

I could be sexy!

Kick the Human is my favorite game!!

Dang it Tobey the Review is over Stop Freaking Crying!!

#Transformers

Some of you may know I'm a Beast Wars fan, so when I saw that the Transformers collector's club recolored Big Convoy was on sale for half its original price, I had to take advantage of it. So let's check out this Ultra Mammoth ( or Ultra Magnus.)

Crackery, it's is I, Legendary Spectacular Iguana Hunterer Phelippe Japeleono Schwinn. I am your host for today's show. As always we are sponsored by Manuel's Fences.

Manuel's Fences

Where we build the Fences to keep you Out of Mexico!!

A great show is lined up for you today folks. We wills be goings back into the Geriatric Ages to see the great and majestic Woolly mammoths of our past.

OK, it seems we are now ready to go back in time using our handy dandy time machine, made with quality parts from Manuel's Hardware Store.

Ok now let me set the time period to 200 millionth years ago. Ready?!? Lets go!! Weoo weoo

Order your Time Machine Today!!

BEAST MODE

We are here folks, in the past. Look at all the grass and trees (pay no attention tot he glass floor and White background), and the Hot sun, which is good because Woolly Mammoths couldn't handle the cold. All the hair kept them cool you know. See that woolly mammoth over there? Let's go check him out. Allah mo, he is beautiful, but wait a minute! This hairy elephant is Blue and white. When I did my research they showed that these guys were brown with a bad hair piece, and were named Manny and talked to a giant sloth. This one has red eyes and can raise his trunk up and down. His ears also move to cover his eyes. That must have been to protect it from the terrible Brontosaurus who was known as a meat eater. Add in those large tusks and this guy seems like he would be able to protect himself quite well. This is a good thing because his legs are stuck in place. So he's like that statue of John Wayne that sits in the capital, you know? I guess his best friend the giant slots will push him down the hill and feed him the seals he eats? So these guys are very large like 30 times the size of an African elephant. Wait, something is happening folks..........

I found this picture on The Google. See I do my background.

What's that blue thing on his stomach? Tumor?

ROBOT MODE

I'm here to kick butt and eat skittles.

And I'm all out of skittles.

Ala Chimichanga he is falling apart, wey. He must be rotten and pass his expiration date. Dude, his head just split in half and I see legs and arms coming out from inside his body. That's kind of Gross, you know. No wait, he is changing to a red, white , and blue robot. How Patriotic! His leg keeps popping off, but they seem to pop back on pretty easily. He is starting to stretch out like a fat man getting out of his recliner after watching the Dallas Cowboys win again. He's rotating his ball jointed shoulders and upper arms. He is bending his elbows and hands in and out. Whoa! His head and waist just turned all the way around like the "devil girl on the bed" movie we watch on Halloween! He is bending his legs forward and back, in and out. You hear that folks? He has ratchets in there. Whoa! He is swiveling on his upper thigh and behind his knees. It almost looks like he's dancing like Michael Jackson. I wonder if he knows the Macarena? Check out those moves! Even his foot seems to be on a ball. This guy is pretty Flexible, no? With those huge shoulder tusks he looks Majestic and ready to kick heads.

Why isn't the missile launching out on this thing?

Oh no, he has seen me! Now a bunch of guns are coming out of nowheres. His front legs look like Gatling guns. His hips have boomerangers like the one the immigracion used to catch my cousin Tito. Ahla mo, the huge cannon on his back is becoming his gun. Wait, what is that?

I will stab you in the ......EYE.

Some rod things are coming out of his forearms. They look like Probes. Woolly Mammoths are Alien Transformers Robots...... They are with the greys.....Cause only Aliens want to probe your Angus, no wait probate, no. Hey how do you say culo in Engrish, cameraman Rudy? Forget it, run fool! I don't plays that way!

I am not a Optimus Prime knockoff!!

OVERALL

Well folks, Phelippe Japeleono Schwinn seems to be having issues. Maximal Ultra Mammoth is pretty dang cool. Mine did have the issue of the mammoth legs popping off but since it's connected by a ball joint it's pretty easy to pop back on. All of his other joints are fine so far, which is amazing since this action figure's mold first came out in 1999 and has been used at least 4 times. Add in all the articulation points and this figure is a win. Now this Autobot does have a weight distribution issue due to the huge cannon on his back that also becomes his weapon, but it's been that way since he first came out. I do like the fact that they actually made him Ultra Magnus, just upgraded or downgraded? This figure makes you wish that the Bionicle-looking dinobots in age of extinction would have looked similar. Cause then the Decepticons would have been afraid of those dinos instead of trying to suck them up with a Cybertronian vacuum cleaner.

Now his Mammoth mode is, well, a statue. Nothing much to do there play wise. As we all know the collectors club does very little to existing molds. Mostly a quick color change or a new head, but I feel like they didn't do enough with this one. The whole Ultra Magnus look comes off looking incomplete. Maybe some reprolabels? So is it worth the money? Well, as a beast wars fan I want to say yes. But being an honest man I have to say no. Not at full retail price of $129.99. At $69.99 uhhhh maybe. I'd be happier and more at ease at $49.99. And yes not even the chromed Matrix he comes with or the translucent bits make me want to pay more. So if you are not a Beast Wars fan or a club figure collector this one is an easy pass for you. Just not enough there to constitute the cost which might explain the drastic price slash.